We had an anti-sexting class gathering @TheNarcto-School today. I am a tentacle porn star, it is an honest living! The fact that people had the audacity to tell me to be anything but myself is just ubserd and down-right immoral! If I wanna strut my stuff in front of the rest of the muthafuckin Narctocrew then its my Narcto-God given right! So step off ya no good fumble Fuks Logan does what he wants!

In class

So I go to school and find some spots on my lip that appears to be a cold-sore, so I swim over to the schools octopus nurse. She runs some test and confirms my suspicions, I HAVE THE MUTHAFUKIN HERPES!

The fight for Uncle Jeffy!

So as y’all may know my Uncle Jeffy was taken by a gang of marlins, and as I thank y’all for y’alls concern and prayers, I would like you all to know he is alright now. So now it is time to tell you the story of how me and my narctocrew saved him. It all started when a gang of vicious marlins known as the Mar-Crypt started trouble under the sea. They started shooting up the place demanding we give them our narcto-princess named “Twinkle Semen.’ However we would not comply giving up the beloved princess Twinkle-Seman. So they took my Uncle Jeffy and swam off. I tried gatting them with my glock but it was too late, for they were already gone. I decided it was time to fight back! My Uncle Jeffy must be saved for he is a prized fighter in the NarctoGang. So i call up my friends Katie Bell, Marcus Ehle, Karen Vazquez, Elaine Day, Jacob Knight, and Colton Mcarty. These are my favorite narctopus friends and they all are important members of the NarctoGang. We start the long journey and only stop once because i have a small bladder. Then all of the sudden Gerard Way comes to us on the back of a giant penguin and says “Logan The Narctopus,referring to me, you will need this on your journey”. He hands me a small drug needle. “Thank you Gerard, Ill never forget you”,I say. He replies as he and his penguin swim away,”I’m sorry i cant help you personally, i have much solo work to begin so goodbye Logan”. With that we begin to walk again until we make it to Marlin territory. Katie says,” Dammit Logan i wanted to say hi to Gerard”. Then Colton startles me by suddenly shouting “I CANT BLINK MY EYES.” I reply,” WTF bro were on a mission, screw your blinking problems”. Karen then says,”Gosh guys lets just get back to work”. Then Elaine starts talking about how Ivan is such an adorable Homosexual. Jacob then yells “Well Hot dog, lets whip some ass”. I agree and we begin to search for the marlins and Uncle Jeffy. We found them but we are out numbered. We begin to flipper and tentacle fight them one by one. I spot Jeffy who is tied up in the corner. Soon enough things take a dark turn, Marcus, the Asian in the group, uses his Asian eyes and spots a marlin swimming my way. He shouts and I kick into action, i dodge a hit and bitch slap the daylights out of the marlin with my tentacles. We cant hold them off forever however and we started to grow tired. Then all of the sudden i remembered the drug needle, I jammed it in my arm faster then Miley Cyrus could lick a hammer. Instantaneously I become really hyper and everything looks like im wearing blue/red 3D goggles. With this sudden boost of adrenaline i kill all of the marlins and suck the guts out. Then Katie uses her nar-horn to saw Uncle Jeffy loose of his binds. Then we return to Princess Twinkle Semen whom rewards us for are brave actions!    

Save my Niggah Jeffy!

My uncle Jeffy got caught up in some under the sea gang violence! Help a brother out and get y’all asses down in the ocean and back em up. He was minding his own when a gang of marlin come riding on up into are pod shooting up the place! I gatted em with my glock but it was to late, they took my niggah Uncle Jeffy. Their a gang know as the Mega Mar-crypts. Yallz gotta help me take down. SAVE MY NIGGAH JEFFY!

My lovely parents, in which would abandon me at birth…. But that’s in the past, my dad is the narwhal and my mom is the octopus. I love y’all!!!!!!

Hi ima narctopus, a Narwhal/Octopus crossbreed. My mom is a whore Octopus and my Dad is a deadbeat narwhal. This is my life as a narctopus in the sea, I hope you enjoy my tales and tentacles lol, I made a punny!